A couple years ago I quit evaluating my own performance. Like, how do I dress, where do I go, how do I sound, how loud am I, how well do I speak, am I late, am I early, what words do I use, who do I hang out with, who do I avoid, how often am I late for work... basically, anything that can be measured I have tried consciously to detach myself from. It's a huge list. Sheesh. It includes all the typical legalistic stuff, but a whole lot more.
The problem was, my whole identity seemed to be wrapped up in those visible things. Not only was I scoring myself, it seemed everyone was watching me, scoring me on all of this stuff too. Even second-level stuff, like, How do my kids behave, how long has it been since I got my oil changed, how well is my yard taken care of. The list is endless. I know this sounds like the legalism thing, but it's different from that, because it's all-inclusive.
There isn't ANY visible thing that matters more than the invisible.
God has made me very leary of what I can see with my eyes, or what I can hear with my ears. Because the real truth of a person, their identity is hidden behind (or under, or beneath) what they actually say, or do, or where they go, or how they dress or smell. What is seen is temporary, what is invisible is eternal. Most of the time, I find that the visible points me in the opposite direction of the invisible reality.
Which leaves me with nothing visible to evaluate, in myself or in others. At first it was unnerving, because I was so stinkin' used to observing and evaluating. But then I realized, it's very liberating. Not only for me, but for everyone in my world, because I don't have to keep score on them either. Someone can drop the F-bomb in my home, and that in itself doesn't matter. They can spit in my face, and that in itself doesn't matter.
Who they are matters. Who I am matters.
Here is the only 'category' I have maintained. If the person claims or seems to be a follower of the way of Jesus, then things are fairly simple. If a follower of Jesus were to spit in my face, or drop the F-bomb in front of my six-year old, I instinctively want to know, "What are you afraid of? What do you want?"
What they really want or what they are afraid of might be anything. They might want to be stood down, for the first time in their life. They might just be acting defensively because they have been beaten all their lives, and I happened to be the one who said the wrong thing at the wrong time. Maybe God set me in front of their spit because they needed to see how a man takes an offense.
It comes down to being true to who God made me to be. Am I being true to my God-given identity in doing the things I do? Everything else is false, and since it's false, it's wrong.
Salt is salty because it's salt, not because it made up its mind to go good with steak. Light casts out darkness because it's light, not because it wanted people to see what's in the closet.
Do whatever you do in your world because it's who you are. Everything else is likely to be out of whack. We each are at different places along the path toward seeing who we really are.
By the way, the new covenant isn't a "remodel" job, it's a "restoration", which implies bringing back a former glory. Romans 8 comes to mind. Underneath it all, we followers already bear a striking resemblance to the Son, and we're more than just adopted bastard sons with a new last name and a green card into heaven. We're more than just forgiven.
In our deepest parts, the parts hidden by our visible attributes, we're already true -- everything we struggle with comes down to some sort of false-ness.
I'm not telling you how to do anything, I'm just telling you how God walked me through one part of my journey. He asked me, "What do you believe about yourself?" So I started telling Him. And He kept telling me, "That isn't true. That isn't true. That isn't true." And then He dangled something (a project that was bigger than me) in front of me that brought me out of myself, if that makes any sense.
The bottom line is, I'm not my own project anymore. Reforming myself isn't what I'm here to do. I encourage all of us to look outside of ourselves, and quit worrying about the ways we fall short, and get on with -- whatever. Find some darkness, and go stand in it.
Because you already glow, you just don't see it.
So many seeds here, so many shoots. Let me venture to follow one.
ReplyDeleteJesus said to his disciples once that he was giving them the secret of the kingdom. The secret. What exactly was that secret? He talked about something invisible, something hidden inside.
When he was alone, the Twelve and the others around him asked him about the parables. He told them, “The secret of the kingdom of God has been given to you. But to those on the outside everything is said in parables so that,
‘they may be ever seeing
but never perceiving,
and ever hearing
but never understanding;
otherwise they might turn
and be forgiven!’”
Even Jesus' words here seem to be a parable. They seem bigger than the situation. I have an inkling that the way all of reality is put together is that there is stuff on the outside that is visible, but the stuff on the inside is the secret. I have an inkling that Jesus wasn't just talking about some people who were on the outside, but rather he was talking about all of reality. The secret is inside, hidden, invisible. The lie is outside, showy, opaque.
I wonder if everything we can see is a parable. Jesus told parables to convey the truth: to convey the heart of reality. He pointed to things seen--temporal, insignificant things like seed, trees, birds, houses, and weather--to reveal the secret force behind all that is seen and unseen. He chose some things, but couldn't he have chosen all things?
Those who decide to receive parables as mere stories--in other words, those who decide to receive the visible me as the real me--will be ever seeing but never preceiving, ever hearing but never understanding. The visible reality is given to weed out those who are true seekers from those who would live life from the out-side.
Wow, what a post. It isn't often that a guy can say so little, and yet say something about everything.
ReplyDeleteYou talk like Jesus did, my friend.
your post says much, and in one way bids a question related to appearance: what has happened to perception and discernment of the invisible identity, whether it be good (of God) or bad?
ReplyDeleteJesus perceived the inner corruption of the teachers of the Law, who by appearance seemed righteous, yet Jesus said they were full of "EVERYTHING impure". (caps mine--not just some impurities or wickedness or sin, but all. Wow.)
The Holy Spirit in Peter called out Ananias and Sapphira's lie and deception in Acts 5.
This is one of the things I have pondered for months. Where is discernment by the Holy Spirit today?
We see in the news media all these "shocking" stories of clergy, doctors, etc committing crimes and all sorts of evil.
We see stories of Christians looking foolish: having hope, only to see the hope dashed when reports are reversed (coal mining accident in W/Va a few months back. People were praising God for the report of the miners being safe, then the true report that only one survived and the rest died came to light. The papers had a field day mocking God in that one.)
This discernment works both ways. Just as there is a severe lack of discerning evil, there is likewise a lack of discernment of the reborn invisible identity in Jesus.
imo, there are significant portions of the Body (in the U.S. at least) which are fixated on soulish Christianity: focusing on the mind and emotions (and will, of course), rather than on the spirit. And to this end the U.S. Body is focused on appearances.
Among criterion of the Body today: does this preacher sound good, how does he look or "seem", how does he speak, how much education does he have, does he have an attractive wife...and the Body follows these appearances sometimes (often?) to their demise.
When have we ever seen a picture of an ugly or heavyweight pastor/couple on a billboard advertising a church?
There is so much about (American) society cancering the church, in term of glorifying appearance and failing to recogize invisible identities which reflect Immanuel--God within.
Thank You, Lord, for liberation from this crap. Would that more of the Body would have the scales drop from their eyes.
Amen.
ReplyDeleteIndeed, where has discernment gone? Wouldn't it be nice to have an answer to this question, and then to be able to offer a remedy?
We must be careful what we ask for here.
Consider where we find ourselves in the history of humanity. We are at the height of knowledge. Knowledge has become the doorway to 'truth'. Our beloved 'scientists' and 'experts' are uncovering more and more of the 'mysteries' of our life as humans. We have an addiction to explanation, both in secular and in sacred areas of life.
HOW has taken the place of WHY.
And so we blindly walk toward the perfect state of absurdity--for what could be more absurd than to have complete knowledge of "how", but no grasp of "why"? Think on that.
We allow for fewer and fewer mysteries. Which also means, less wonder and imagination is required to get by.
In a word, less faith. The Spirit and our spirit are lost in the fray. Working, but forgotten.
The institutional church is no less guilty of feeding this addiction to explanation. Books, lessons, sermons, sunday school, radio preachers, devotional books, language books. How-to's, tips, ideas, conversation starters, small group material, blah, blah, blah.
Ok, I'm perilously close to committing the crime I am accusing both science and the institutional church of doing. But this is where I stop, and suggest: the less we know, the more we believe.
Here's another way to say it: the less we look at, the more we see.
I choose not to know. I choose not to choose. I choose the un-known. I run from understanding. I embrace mystery.
Simply put, I wonder.
Dead is explanation. Alive is story.
And so we return to the original question: where has discernment gone?
I will suggest that if we knew the answer, then we would seek to formulate a "HOW TO" solution and offer it up. And in the end it would be another piece of crap to throw upon the dung heap of our knowledge.
Far better to simply speak of the mystery, and invite others to wonder with us.
man, your last post rocks.
ReplyDeleteI wonder "where's discernment" because of the Why.
I read Ananias in Acts 5 and think "this is WHY there should be discernment of the Holy Ghost in the Body today".
In that story in Acts, after both hubby and wife drop dead, it says "great fear seized the whole church and all who heard of these events". (the Why)
(You're exactly right that the Body would largely miss the point and seek a book on "8 steps to Holy Spirit Discernment". What a crock of How-to this is. That's missing the main course and picking at the crumbs.)
Fear and awe of God is largely absent in the Body. The Body has largely become a dictatorial group of whiny voices, besieging God to do this and do that for our whims.
Steve and I talked this last wknd, and he brought up a good point that "I want" is different from "I shall have".
There is way too much "I shall have" Dominion garbage amuck among us, all for the purpose and with the focus that our earthly lives can be ripple free.
There is largely a huge lack of humility in the American Body. In the past few months I have read with an open ear the following:
"Lord, if you are willing you can heal me" (leper)
"I am not worthy for you to come under my roof, but say the word and my servant shall be healed" (centurion)
"Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!" (Peter, upon the astonishing catch of fish)
"have mercy on me" (tax collector who went home justified before God, rather than the Pharisee who bragged on his righteousness, his fasting and his tithing)
Humility is pretty much lip service today.
Today it's "Lord, touch Joe, heal him right now" and "Lord, give Jane a good report on her xrays."
Not every time, but sometimes when I hear these prayers it grates against my spirit. Maybe that's the Spirit signaling they are asking for the sake of being well, not for the sake of God being glorified through the healing.
If Jesus were to show up today and say "I'd like to come to your house", most of us would swell in pride, call home and tell them to pick the house up and do it right, then call every person in our cell phone call list and say "Guess who's coming to MY house?!?!?!"
This prideful bunk, along with the Christian (church attending?) pedophile and murder headlines, I believe makes a good case for discernment to return.
Yet how right you are the circus and X-step- program of "how to" it would be.
I've heard of churches where they treat prophecy this way. Pretty much every Tom, Dick and Jane who wants to prophesy...can. "Want to prophesy? Come up front." Literally. (puke, hurl)
I keep searching in my concordance for the "church is to be entertainment" verse and continue failing to find it. It's apparently in there and I'm missing it.
Thank God.
Jon,
ReplyDeleteHad to share this with you. I've got the tv tuned to a Christian network right now (done very seldom, puke), but paused for a few minutes to see what portrayal of the Way came across.
Not to anyone's surprise, it's exactly as you have spoken of.
Just saw an ad for a Christian conference in June. The ad talked about "steps", "principles" and "techniques" to a more fruitful Christian walk, life, ministry, blah blah blah.
Jesus in a box. Ain't 21st centry Christianity grand?
Knowledge is the water in our aquarium, sadly.
ReplyDeleteCan we even talk about such 'knowledge' systems as 'The Way'? I'm referring to ANY system that sets itself up in a position of giving guidance, direction, or understanding to another person regarding a walk with God.
Is a mystery still a mystery if it's explained? Is life still alive when it's spelled out on paper or from the pulpit? Does it help a man see better to 'show' (explain to) him exactly how a thing works?
"No more will a man tell his neighbor, 'Know God.' For they will all know me."