For example, I just reread a post by Steve Coan called "All" this morning. And, you know what? All I can do with that is admit it.
Not agree, but admit. Not believe, or accept, as if I'm a turnstyle.
Admit. Go with the flow. Join it. Admit it.
What Steve speaks of is bigger than me. How can I judge it? What's to be evaluated? It's Jesus.
This should be good news to all of us. It's not up to us to get our beliefs right, and to develop great faith.
Lest you get the wrong impression from the word "admit"--it's not the begrudging admittance like "admitting that you have done something wrong." It's a simple, peaceful, "Yeah, that's how it is, really" kind of admittance.
When you sit down and look at what makes up your world-view (or your church-view, or your Jesus-view) how much of it did you really choose to believe? And that portion that you simply chose, how much has it changed you?
Some will answer, "What I have chosen to believe has changed me a great deal. It's made me who I am." I don't know exactly what to say to that, but it somehow reminds me of Thomas. Thomas chose not to believe until he "knew." He had to see Jesus with his eyes. Then he chose to give his allegiance to Him:
[Jesus] "Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe." [Thomas] "My Lord and my God!"
Jesus' response glows with mythic light:
"Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."
It's that second part that is eating me alive these days. There's an interesting clue about this kind of "belief by choice" in an earlier conversation between Jesus and Thomas. Remember this dialogue?
[Jesus] You know the way to the place where I am going." [Thomas] "Lord, we don't know where you are going, so how can we know the way?"
I take both of these stories as typifying someone who needs to know before believing. One who begins with a position of doubt, which must be settled before belief can occur.
It's so much work.
"Beliefs" are founded upon knowledge. "Faith" is founded upon lack of knowledge. Remember that faith gives substance to the things we can only hope for just now--because we can't see them yet.
Here's a different scene that illustrates something close to what I'm saying:
When Jesus had finished saying all this in the hearing of the people, he entered Capernaum. There a centurion's servant, whom his master valued highly, was sick and about to die. The centurion heard of Jesus and sent some elders of the Jews to him, asking him to come and heal his servant.
When they came to Jesus, they pleaded earnestly with him, "This man deserves to have you do this, because he loves our nation and has built our synagogue."
So, the centurian's a good guy--he deserves to have his servant healed, right? That's not why Jesus healed the servant.
So Jesus went with them.
He was not far from the house when the centurion sent friends to say to him: "Lord, don't trouble yourself, for I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. That is why I did not even consider myself worthy to come to you. But say the word, and my servant will be healed."
What's this? A Roman who's never met Jesus, speaking of the power of the Word? Believing without seeing? How did he have such faith? The answer is, he had spent some time considering the power of one's word.
"For I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. I tell this one, 'Go,' and he goes; and that one, 'Come,' and he comes. I say to my servant, 'Do this,' and he does it."
When Jesus heard this, he was amazed at him, and turning to the crowd following him, he said, "I tell you, I have not found such great faith even in Israel."
Then the men who had been sent returned to the house and found the servant well.
Matthew misses an important point when he tells this story--he tells it as if the Roman centurian went out to talk to Jesus. In Matthew's telling, the faith is in the asking.
Luke (always one to get the details right) makes sure we get the whole story. The centurian believed something about Jesus that he had learned without any kind of evidence, or knowledge. (Had Jesus ever healed anyone when He was not in their presence? I'll have to look that up.) The centurian was a man of authority, and he knew what kind of power there is in "saying the word."
Think on that--it's very mythic.
Back to admitting--I wonder if great acts of faith (healing, mountains falling into the sea) are more like admitting the power of Jesus' word.
Simply by the power of just His word, He heals. What released Jesus' power wasn't the centurian's earnest begging. Nor was it the argument that "He's a great guy, he deserves to have his servant healed." It was this odd, irrational faith that Jesus could just "say the word." I don't think the centurian was surprised when the servant got out of bed that day.
Admit it. Your faith has been there all along. You're already one of His children. You have wanted to believe, therefore you already believe.
Besides, admitting is a lot more fun than conjuring, evaluating, struggling, trying to believe.
Jesus, just say the word.
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